For those of us who have struggled with body-image issues our whole
lives, people (especially women) who have always felt ease in their bodies are the
proverbial “unicorns”… something magical you’ve heard of but never seen.
Yup. They
exist. My life is full of body-image
conversations and every once in a while I meet a woman who says, “What you’re
doing sounds cool, but it’s not relevant to me.
I’ve never disliked my body. I
don’t entirely understand why anyone would dislike their body.”
My theory about my unicorn friends, the big difference between them and
me, is simple: they don’t objectify themselves.
They don’t look at themselves from someone else’s
point of view. They don’t take on that
critical, judgmental, outside point of view that’s impossible to measure up
to. They don’t compare themselves to airbrushed
images on billboards and magazines. They
don’t judge their bodies based on their appearance, but appreciate their
bodies’ health and well-being. We can
learn a lot from our unicorn friends.
Unicorns have problems too. They
judge themselves about their performance at work, they have divorces, anxiety
attacks, lose their keys, get lost in the big city, and take wrong turns down
winding country roads.
That’s life, right? It turns out
life is hard enough without treating ourselves like a vase at a yard sale,
pointing out every flaw and crack every time we look in the mirror.
We end up treating ourselves like a potential buyer
evaluating a horse. “Hmm… rounded
shoulders, ribs can be felt but not seen, fat deposits along the withers…this
pony’s been overfed.” It’s exhausting to
treat ourselves this way all the time.
It can ruin your whole day. Maybe
even your whole life.
You are not a pony. Your body is not for sale. No one has the right to judge or evaluate
it. You are an amazing human being, so
much more than the reflection in the mirror could ever show.
You don’t have to treat yourself like an object ever again.
But once we’re caught in the habit of objectifying
ourselves, how do we stop?
1. Notice when you’re looking
at yourself like an object. You gotta catch yourself doing it. Look in the mirror and notice the first
critical thought that comes to mind.
2. Ask yourself: Says
who? Whose thought is that? Whose point of view is that? Who am I comparing myself to and why?
3. Remind yourself: this
body is my friend, my home, my life’s companion. It makes everything in my life possible. Judgments are not welcome or necessary. My body is not an object. It’s a vibrant living being that deserves love.
4. Feel your body from
the inside. Is it happy? Is it enjoying life? This is what truly matters.
Your body is not for the consumption of our consumer culture. It’s for your enjoyment of life and the
pursuit of your dreams.
Once you’ve given up treating your body like an
object, all that energy you used to spend giving yourself a hard time, you can
now use to write your book, start that business you always wanted to try out,
and finally finish the art project you’ve been dabbling with for years.
You’ll still have problems. But you’ll have a lot more energy to work
with them.
Love Your Body Blog Part 69
