No matter how alienated you have felt from your body, your body wants to be friends with you. Your body is resilient, forgiving, and happy to move towards a more loving relationship with you. Like working with an ignored or abused dog, your patient, loving, and consistent attention will win you a relationship based on trust and affection. In the last post, we focused on one particular betrayal or hurt in the body. Today, look at the wide range of difficulties your body has lived through, and walk a mile in your body’s shoes. See your life from your body’s perspective.
Make your own chart like the one below, listing particular challenges you and your body have faced. Tell your body how you felt about it, and let your body answer.
| | Injury | | | I say: You hurt so badly. You were in so much pain, but I needed you to work and not hurt so much. | Body says: I felt so bad during that time. But you wouldn’t slow down and let me heal. You just seemed frustrated with me. I was doing the best I could with what you gave me. | | Weight loss/dieting | | | I say: I wanted you to be thinner, and more attractive. You made it so hard on me, with all your cravings and hunger and tiredness. I was so mad at you! Why couldn’t you just get with the program? | Body says: I know you wanted me to change, and I didn’t mind eating better and exercising some. But you took it too far and I didn’t like it. You kept beating me up over it. I hated feeling like your enemy. | | Illness | | | I say: You got really sick. You kept me from doing lots of things that were important to me. I was annoyed by how weak and sickly you made me feel. | Body says: I needed lots of rest. I was tired and needed to save my energy until I felt better. I needed you to take care of me and be kind to me. | | Infertility | | | I say: I wanted to have a baby my whole life and you were supposed to help me do that. I’ve supported you through everything, and when I really needed this one thing from you that I was counting on, you dropped the ball. I was so disappointed with you. | Body says: I knew you wanted a baby so badly, and I really wanted to give one to you. I knew how important it was to you, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t do it. Then I felt sad and abandoned, like the only reason I was valuable to you was if I could have a baby. Then when I couldn’t I felt less than worthless. | | Menopause | | | I say: Come on, it’s not enough you have to grow older, but then you start to freak out on me? Hot flashes, moodiness, dryness, hair growing in weird places: you’ve gotten totally unpredictable! I feel like I hardly know you anymore. | Body says: I’m changing again, and I can’t help it. I know you want everything to stay the same, but there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Don’t worry, we’ll find an equilibrium again. Just be patient with me and help me figure it out. |
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Empathize with your body… look at what it has to work with---an intelligent, but sometimes rigid and resistant mind. Apologize to your body, and hear your body’s heartfelt apologies to you. Make a pact with your body to talk things through the next time, as they’re happening, so that bad feelings and mistrust don’t build up. Can you sense what working through these old issues allows you to do? You’re developing a sense of trust toward your body based on dialogue and listening, remembering that you’ve already worked through many difficult experiences together. From here, you can meet new challenges with the same resilience and commitment to stay connected no matter what life throws at you.
Next post: Your lifelong friendship with your body starts here.
